Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts
by Kaylin Arrowin
Summary: Anything is possible when confronted with a list. Self insertion, NOT MARY SUE. Multiple pairings.
1. 7 I will not use Umbridge's quill

RI: This idea came to me from reading "Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts." Anyone who knows me knows that I would do half, if not all, of those things. So please enjoy. Oh and I will be putting myself in these drabbles. And no, I won't do the Mary Sue thing; though I do tend to act weirder than normal.

So without further ado here's THINGS I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DO AT HOGWARTS!

7. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".

"Detention Ms. Arrowin! Do not speak without raising your hand! And 50 points from Slytherin!" Umbridge screeched, her frightfully pink cardigan stretching around her bulbousy (I'd rather say fat) body.

"Aye, aye captain!" Kaylin crowed, giving Umbridge a mock salute, and began twirling her wand around her fingers, humming a song no one could understand.

"And change those despicable clothes! No woman should wear such revealing clothing!" The pink, toad like woman continued to screech, making point of her knee length skirt; decorated with chains of course, a leather tank top with matching leather robes.

Looking down at herself, Kaylin didn't see anything wrong with what she wore. "What's wrong with it? There is no rule in the handbook that says they had be exactly the same as everyone elses'." She said wisely, shocking most of the Gryffindors and only a few of the Slytherins.

XxXxX After dinner; Umbridges' office xXxXx

"Sit, Ms. Arrowin. You will be writing lines tonight; the sentence shall be, 'I will act as a woman in front of others'." Dolores Umbridge said, pointing to the innocent quill lying on the desk.

"Whatever floats your boat lady." Kaylin replied, sitting on the chair and, began writing her lines; not noticing that is was written in blood.

Standing up and walking over; but not before making kissy faces at the picture of the current prime minister. "Let me see your hand." Umbridge said, holding out her pudgy thing she called a hand.

"Hmmm… a few more nights should do it. Come tomorrow at the same time." The toad like woman said, releasing Kaylins' hand and shooing her out without a second glance.

XxXxX The next day; Gryffindor Table, Breakfast time xXxXx

"Hawwy! Save me oh mighty one!" Kaylin yelled diving under the Gryffindor table just as Draco Malfoy came storming in, his hair bright neon blue and a murderous look on her face.

"Where is she? Where the bloody fuck is that red headed demoness?" Draco growled, looking around for Kaylin, who was hiding quite well under Harry Potter.

"Hawwy, Hawwy, hand me a biscuit. And put some raspberries on it." She whispered, giggling when she saw Dracos' feet walk by.

"Found you!" Draco growled again, causing Kaylin to squeal in laughter as he drug her out.

XxXxX Two days later, Umbridges office xXxXx

"As you should Ms. Arrowin." Dolores said, sitting in her horrendously pink, wing-backed chair.

Humming her usual tune. Kaylin began writing with her left hand. What many didn't know is that Kaylin is ambidextrous; which meant she could write with either hand. Which at this very moment she was doing. She had a very big and funny prank planned just for this. As Umbridge turned to clean of her many cat plate picture things, she began writing 'I told you I was Hardcore.'

"Ms. Arrowin, your hand please." Umbridge said lazily, grasping Kaylins' left hand without realizing it, and looked at what she had written. "Ms. Arrowin, what is the meaning of this?" she screeched, almost yanking Kaylins' arm out of her socket. "Return to your common room at once!" she finished yelling, pushing her out of her office.

"Told ya I was Hardcore. Baita-yarou." She smirked, walking back to the Slytherin common room, a beautifully evil smile on her face.

XxXxXxXxXxX

RI: I had waaaay to much fun writing this. If you would like one featured on here, then feel free to review your choice.

These will be done every other day. I swear I am gonna have too much fun with these.

1. There really is no rule against changing your uniform in the hand book. Besides, I like leather… shut up…

2. I do have a slight speech impediment. When I get excited my 'R's turn into 'W's and I begin speaking really fast. I also like raspberry preserves.

3. I really am ambidextrous. I love confusing people when they see me write.


	2. 171 I will not use Slytherin

RI: Well I'm surprised that someone actually reviewed! Thanks to **Mogseltof** we have our next chapter! And I would just like to say, even though these have been done prolly a million times, I promise mine will delight you til the end!

On with the show!

XxXxXxXxX

171. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

XxXxXxXxX

"Deck the halls with boughs of Holly, fa la la la la!" Kaylin yelled/sang, from the great hall, helping one of the professors with decorating the tree in the great hall.

"Ms. Arrowin what, may I ask, are you doing?" Severus Snape asked, walking in on what could only be described as insanity.

Looking down and giggling, Kaylin, with the help of professor Flitwick, began floating downwards. "I am helping pwofessor flitwick, pwofessor!" she cheered, _wingardium leviosa_-ing another first year up onto the tree.

"And why, pray tell, are you using the Gryffindor and Slytherin first years?" he asked, the vein in his forehead growing bigger, knowing well what she was going to say.

"Chwistmas colors of course!" she answered, floating a Gryffindor up onto the tree; how she got them to stick they will never know.

"Detention Ms. Arrowin. And twenty points to Slytherin for a clever use for Gryffindors." Snape monotoned, walking away from the scene his cloak billowing in a suspicious manner.

XxXxX The next morning, The Great Hall xXxXx

"She's done it again. Kaylin get Creevey and Ginny down from there!" Harry yelled, a quiet giggle coming from behind him.

"But Hawwy, they make such delightful decorations!" she whimpered, giving him the puppy dog eyes of doom.

"Take them down, death eater!" Ron yelled, trying to grab Kaylins' robe, and failing miserably.

"Are you done Won? I have no interest in being in league with Moldy shorts. I was put in Slytherin for my tenacity for mischief." She said, trying to unstick the youngest Creevey, and the youngest Weasely.

"We have a small pwoblem. The charm I used was too strong. I c-can't get them down." She stuttered, flustered at the outcome. Glancing at the Slytherin table she saw Draco and ran over to sit with him.

"This is what we get when Dumbledore let's someone go half cocked on an idea!" Hermione screeched, pointing her fork at the red headed girl who was rubbing her head on Draco Malfoys' shoulder, not unlike a cat.

"Leave 'er alone Hermione; the only ones that can get close to her, is Harry, Draco Malfoy, a few of the professors, and any of the animals around here." Seamus replied, watching her eat what looked like biscuits and raspberry preserves.

"You can't help but laugh at it though. She managed to get all of the Slytherin and Gryffindor 1st years up in that tree and only got detention! Even Dumbledore thought that it was ingenious!" Dean laughed, watching all the sleeping 11 yr. olds and the professors who were perplexed over how to get them down.

XxXxXxXxXxX

RI: I believe I have crossed the bridge to insanity. Oddly enough, I would really do this.

I am gonna continue the little numbered list of things about me so you will slowly learn little tidbits about me. :D

1. I do sing Deck the Halls at the top of my lungs. It's quite funny to watch the dogs wince. I'm not cruel to animals, it's just funny to watch them and my family wince.

2. I am known to rub my head on someone shoulder, head, or thigh. I act very much like a cat.

3. Moldy shorts is my pet name for Voldemort. Can you picture that image?

4. Hermione annoys me. She screeches like a stuck pig, but other than that she is one of my faves.

5. I firmly believe that Dumbledore would allow almost anyone to get away with any of these schemes.

So til next time, Kaylin says Buh-bye and tip your waiter generously!


	3. 244 I shouldn't throw FangedFrisbees

RI: This one is gonna be fun! I realize how short it is; I had a bit of trouble writing it.

XxXxXxXxX

244. I shouldn't throw Fanged-Frisbees in the Great Hall.

XxXxXxXxX

"Heads up!" Someone yelled throwing what looked like a normal Frisbee from the doors of the Great Hall.

Looking up instinctively, Draco Malfoy screeched before diving under the Slytherin table. "Arrowin, I am going to kill you!" He screeched; his hair mussed up from the sudden movement.

Laughing like an idiot, she ran, or tried to, from the entrance of the great hall. "Dway!" she squealed, trying to get away from a furious Draco.

"Miss Arrowin, detention tonight in my office at 7. And twenty points from Slytherin." Professor Vector (wait, is Prof. Vector a girl?) said, a frown marring her plain face.

Quickly giving a mock salute to the professors, Kaylin began skipping to the dungeons to gather her supplies. "I'd be careful wif my Frisbee. It tends… to nibble." She smirked, walking away; her cloak billowing around not unlike Severus Snapes'.

"What do ye think she means?" McGonagall asked, her Scottish brogue coming to the surface.

Thinking quickly, Harry, who had followed the professors, turned to Hermione and yelled, "Everyone Duck! Fanged Frisbee!"

At that exact moment it came to life and tried to scalp anyone who wasn't able to hide very well.

XxX The Next morning; Great hall xXxX

"Dammit you too! Can't you see she is a slimy death eater?" Ron yelled, his face turning an interesting shade of puce.

Harry, having heard this conversation at least a dozen times, tuned it out in favor of watching the object of scorn by most of the Gryffindor. "Ron, She is a possible Muggleborn, who loves pranking anyone and everyone. Really, think about this." Harry replied calmly and logically, taking a gulp of pumpkin juice noticing the strange taste it carried.

"Ummm, Harry did you happen to eat something strange?" Hermione asked, grabbing a small mirror from her bag.

Looking down, afraid of what he would see, Harry gasped and stood abruptly; making his long black hair swirl in movement and new appendages on his head twitch in anger. "Arrowin!" he screamed, causing everyone to look at him and the now vacant spot where a very scared Kaylin Arrowin had possibly ran off.

"Is he gone yet?" a whispering voice asked from the Slytherin table, eliciting a chuckle from Draco Malfoy.

Squeaking quietly, she tried to crawl away, only to be caught by a very furious Harry Potter. "What the hell is wrong with you Arrowin?" he growled, bopping her head a couple of times.

"Hawwy, it'll weaw off before 3rd clash." She dismissed, waving her hand before struggling out of her robe and walking away quickly, she not wearing a blouse or bra.

XxXxX Third Class: Potions xXxX

"Twenty points to Slytherin for a clever use of a potion." Severus drawled, looking Kaylin in the eye as he said so.

Laughing evilly, Kaylin began her potion; causing half the Gryffindor to shudder in fear.

XxXxXxXxX

RI: Oh man! Oh man! Oh man! I can't believe how late this is. Dammit!

Now for more things about me!

1. I **hate** Mary Sues! They make RI angry *Goes She-Hulk*!

2. I am terribly afraid of spiders. They scare the bejeesus outta me.

3. I love to LARP and RP. Though the LARP has hit a rough patch. One veil of madness spell gone awry and suddenly I can't be a mage.

4. My hair is a very dark red. And very very curly. I have lost money in my hair. This is a fact.

5. I dun tan; I burn, then freckle.


	4. 136 I am not to conjure the words DRINK

RI: Okay this time I will make sure that I can update this every other day or so. This might be done on WordPad, but it will get done. So enjoy!

XxXxXxXxX

136. I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Snape's classroom.

XxXxXxXxX

Sneaking into Professor Snapes' potion stores, Kaylin began conjuring special labels for a select few of his ingredient vials. When she was done, the select ingredients for the Veritaserum labeled correctly. _'Soon."_ She thought hiding her quill and herself from view, _'Ah the folly of Gryffindor. Hopefully a couple of their house will see the reference in this and not actually follow the instructions.'_

"Great Salazar Arrowin, what did you do now?" Draco Malfoy asked, looking at Kaylin who looked like she had seen that cat get the mouse and the cream.

"Oh nothing Dwaco. Has anyone seen my Bii?" she asked, looking under the leather couch for a feathered serpent.

XxXxXxXxX Next day: Double Potions xXxXxXxX

As the class began, after Snape had billowed in like a dark cloud of despair and morning breath, the people began gathering their ingredients, not noticing at the time what the labels said.

"Ron What the hell?" a very high pitched shriek sounded, almost shattering the vials around her.

"What? It says 'Drink me'?" Ron said, grimacing at the taste of leech blood.

As everyone looked down at their ingredients, Kaylin began giggling like mad before falling over. "Bii!" She cheered, picking up the feathered serpent that had apparently hidden in her shoulder bag.

"Miss Arrowin, would you happen to know anything about this?" Severus drawled, looking down at the smiling girl.

"Course not pwofessor!" She giggled, placing her serpent on his desk for safe keeping. _"Alice looked at he bottled labeled 'DRINK ME'. 'How peculiar.' She thought looking at the crystal blue bottle, before gulping down the entire contents."_ Kaylin said, starting her potion without any trouble.

"Dway, save me!" she squealed, trying to hide behind her lab partner as Hermione attempted to tackle her.

"Back off mudblood; she is protected by us." Draco sniffed, picking Kaylin up and placing her next to him.

Glaring at the object of her scorn, Hermione growled, before walking away.

The entire time, Harry did nothing. He just watched as Draco protected their mutual friend. He had always liked Draco; he could never tell anyone (How Kaylin found out, he'll never know).

As he watched Kaylin whisper something to him; he couldn't help but feel jealous. The strange wide eyed look that Draco was shooting him was none to comforting.

Harry blushing and looking away confirmed what Kaylin had told him; Harry Bloody Potter liked him! Him, the Ice Prince of Slytherin!

"Told ya Dway. He likes you!" she giggled dodging the bop to her head.

XxXxXxXxX

RI: This one is a tad shorter than the others, but I have released my first pairing! Draco/Harry!

Ginny won't be around. I never liked her. She's like Bella from Twilight; Only with magic. She died in the chamber of secrets while Harry tried to save her.

Now more things about me!

1. I almost never sleep. Insomnia is my curse

2. I have once yelled "SMEGMA!" at the top of my lungs in a Taco bell

3. I love Canisters of frosting. Especially the Betty Crocker ™ Rainbow Chip kind; It's uber yummy.

4. Kaylin is one of the many characters I have created over the years. She is better developed and actually has a back story. My other Characters, from Searching and Found, for example have no back story and only have the most basic of designs. Where as my, now, main characters from Another World, Another Life are either based on people I know or personifications of aspects of the universe. (To find out more about them go to and look up Another World, Another Life. Trust me, you'll enjoy it.)

5. I am Lactose Intolerant, but I love ice cream. Ironic, don't cha think?


	5. 244 I will not threaten Rita Skeeter

RI: Okay, I really made a mistake about saying I would make one of these everyday. That was a really bad idea.

Kaylin: No shit Sherlock.

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT, I repeat NOT, own the Harry Potter series. If I did, Ginny wouldn't obsessed with a boy almost two years her senior, Draco and Harry would be a couple (their fighting is like foreplay), Hermione would be descendant from Romany (Gypsy), Ron would still be ginger, but not such a bint. I mean, can't he understand that Harry hates the fame? Voldemort would look like the guy who played him in "A Very Potter Musical", and Lucius Malfoy would be tied to my head board with a dildo shoved up his ass (I like to have a bit of fun).

RI: bite me. So with out anything further, let me introduce the next chapter of "Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts"!

XxXxX

139. The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.

XxXxX

"Hawwy, hide me. There's a scawy beetle flying around!" Kaylin yelled, running for the black haired boy sitting in the Great Hall.

Looking up just as she dive bombed him; Harry grabbed her by the waist and swung her around to his left side. "Do it again! That was fun!" Kaylin giggled, eyeing the little green beetle cautiously.

Giggling in an innocently evil way, Kaylin began piling eggs, bacon, and biscuits with raspberries onto her plate. "Hermy, what is today's first class? I dun wanna be late again." She said between bites, and gulps of pumpkin juice.

"And Malfoy or Snape doesn't have it because…?" Hermione asked, staring at her square in the eye.

Laughing like "Loony" Lovegood, "Cause they both saw me try and dive bomb Harry and decided that I would get my syllabus here!" she cheered, garnering a few weird looks mostly from her own house, and blushed at Luna's praise.

XxX 4th floor Hallway, lunch time xXxX

"Harry Potter, the exact person I've been looking for!" an annoyingly high voice called, an acid green pen hovering above her right shoulder.

Sighing for what seemed like the twentieth time that day he turned to her. "What do you want Skeeter? I happen to be very busy." He said, silently letting a miniature fox fall to the floor gently, so it could run behind Skeeter.

"I would love an interview with the most eligible bachelor, in the Wizarding World." She simpered, a roll of parchment unfurling and awaiting her signal to begin.

Sighing a little louder than necessary, he looked down and smirked. "Sure Rita. I would love an interview." He said, smirking eerily like Lucius Malfoy.

"Wonderful, let's use this room. It's quaint." She said, pushing the door to a broom closet open.

Sighing again, He sat on an upturned bucket, waiting for her to begin. "What do you want to know now?" he asked, hiding the miniature fox behind his legs.

"Let me test this first. Rita Skeeter; 24, beautiful blonde with blue eyes to interview Harry Potter "The-Boy-Who-Lived." She stated watching as the pen wrote just as she said. "Alright; let's begin." She said seconds later, turning on Harry quite abruptly.

"Who was that sweet little girl that nearly knocked you out of your seat this morning?" she asked, not bothering to look at the pen anymore.

Looking down, as if he was embarrassed, he thought of the answer. "She is one of my best friends. We met on the train 1st year, and we've hung out ever since. She usually tries to jump on me in the morning before Draco Malfoy can catch her." He said, looking at the parchment that said, _"Harry Potter, 14, talks of his love for one Miss Kaylin Arrowin, 14, who seems to be reminiscent of the late Lily Evans."_ "What the- I do not like her! That would be like dating my own sister! And she does not look like my mother. If you had bothered to notice, her hair is a brighter shade of red, and her eyes are almost dark emerald in color. Kaylin NOW!" he yelled, stepping back as Kaylin began to shift in her human form.

"Hiya miss bitch. Wanna see something fun?" she asked, tilting her head to the side and holding something behind her back.

Smiling, or at least trying to, Rita replied, "Of course I would love to see what you have."

Just as Kaylins' smirk turned evil, Harry had cast the bubble head charm on the both of them, and she pulled a can of raid from behind her back and sprayed Rita Skeeter square in the face.

"That was for making Hawwy mad! And for comparing me to Lily Evans; she was a beautiful woman. I am only cute compared to her. Come Hawwy, let's go get lunch. Oh and Miss Skeeter? I expect that this little article will not be published?" she said, closing the door a little bit so the room could air out, "Oh, I almost forgot. Next time you try to write something bad about Hawwy, I will spray you again, and longer."

XxX The next morning, Slytherin common Room xXxX

Waking up as usual, Kaylin rolled off her bed and stumbled into the door of the girls' washroom. Or at least that's what she thought it was.

"Kaylin; what are you doing in the boys' dorm?" Draco asked, covering himself as quickly as he could.

Looking up, though everything was bleary, she replied, "cause I was asleep in your bed again. Prof. Snape let me in he -*yawn*-re because I had another bad dream and the girls had kicked me out for dousing Pansy with Ranch dressing."

Not bothering to look at the boys in there currently, she crawled behind a stall and went to the bathroom. "Blaise; can you get Millie to bring me some clothes? Pansy will kill me if I go back in there." She asked the sweet, black, Italian boy, the puppy dog eyes in full effect.

"Fine, but don't expect any underwear; I doubt they will give me yours." He said, pulling his pants on before walking out of the bathroom.

"That's fine. I go commando on weekdays anyways. Underwear is just a hassle. Oh and Draco; I'm wearing your boxers. Do you want them back?" she asked, noticing the incredulous looks cast her way.

"Why did you have to be my cousin? Why did Merlin curse me?" he false cried, pretending to fall to his knees in agony.

"Because, Drakie-poo, if you hadn't discovered it in 1st year, then I would've had to go back to my squib of a mother and Muggle of a father." She laughed, helping him up.

XxXxX

RI: wow. Just, wow. This one was actually a little bit too much fun to write.

Here are more little things about me!

1. My pants have fallen in the middles of a store.

2. I have been bitten by different animals and bugs. I currently have Fire ant bites on my left hand and left foot. They itch somethin' fierce.

3. I have watched a cat jump three feet in the air from fright. I scared that cat by moving my foot in a jerking motion.

Dun forget, you can suggest one that you want on here. Feel free to suggest in a review!


	6. 277, 278, 279

RI: Thanks to **Avaline Malfoy** we have out next chapter!

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT, I repeat NOT, own the Harry Potter series. If I did, Ginny wouldn't be obsessed with a boy almost two years her senior, Draco and Harry would be a couple (their fighting is like foreplay), Hermione would be descendant from Romany (Gypsy), Ron would still be ginger, but not such a bint. I mean, can't he understand that Harry hates the fame? Voldemort would look like the guy who played him in "A Very Potter Musical", and Lucius Malfoy would be tied to my head board with a dildo shoved up his ass (I like to have a bit of fun).

XxXxX

277. I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's office.

278. - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.

279. -Especially not with kazoos

XxXxX

"Bii, come here you stupid snake." Draco called, trying to find Kaylins' feathered serpent. What he didn't know was that as he searched for it, Kaylin was creating more mayhem than should be allowed.

"Crap, this is harder then they let on!" Kaylin furiously whispered, slowly changing Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans into Lemon Drops… Well the nasty ones.

She had a very devious plan in mind. But first, she needed to get those damn things separated.

XxX Next morning; Great Hall xXxX

This morning was quite interesting. Draco was sitting in Harry's lap; Luna was unabashedly staring at what would seem like a column on wrack horned snorkracks.

And Hermione didn't care. It was too early to notice what was going on. What she did notice was that Kaylin had fallen asleep next her; A happy smile on her face.

"Naughty… my ice cream… stupid elves…" Kaylin mumbled, subconsciously grabbing the bowl of oatmeal near her head.

"Miss Kaylin, Dumbledore wants to see you. Miss Kaylin? Are you dead?" a first year asked, poking her lightly in the side.

"Have at ye!" Kaylin yelled, jumping up and brandishing a spoon like a sword.

"Headmaster wants to see you!" the little firstie squeaked, running away quickly. "She's crazy!" he yelled, running over to the Ravenclaw table.

Snoring quietly, Kaylin stood there; asleep. Impossible you say? Not in the eyes of Kaylin. Ever since she was a little kid, she had been able to fall asleep standing up.

"Kay, wake up!" someone yelled, throwing an orange at her head, making her snort and wake up suddenly.

Jolting to the side, Kaylin mumbled "Wh-what?" sitting at the table and staring at what she thought was bacon.

"The headmaster wants to see you." Hermione said, not looking up from the book she had pulled out from her bag.

Smirking evilly, she smiled and began walking slowly to the Headmaster's Office. "Dobby!" she called, in a corridor on the second floor.

"Missy called for Dobby?" the eccentric elf asked, his big eyes wide and excited.

Smiling gently at the little Elf, she began to explain what she needed. "M'kay Dobby? I need that all just as I walk down there." She said making sure everything was planned perfectly.

XxX Fourth Floor at the beginning of the hallway xXxX

Stopping the the beginning fourth floor hallway, Kaylin whistled twice signaling the house elves to act.

"Is missy ready?" Winky asked, jostling a medium sized bag.

Smirking in a purely evil way, she signaled half of the little elves to take queue behind her. the other half began emptying the medium sized bag of it's prize.

Inside said bag were kazoos. Plain, red, kazoos. Oh the devious mind of Kaylin Arrowin. "Are you all ready?" with a quick nod from all, she began her trek down the long hallway.

"We're off to see the Wizard, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz! If ever a Wiz! there was.

If ever oh ever a Wiz! there was The Wizard of Oz is one because,

Because, because, because, because, because.

Because of the wonderful things he does.

We're off to see the Wizard. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz."

Kaylin sang, her off-key falsetto garnering attention from the portraits and several students wandering around.

"Miss Arrowin; you will desist in that vulgar display!" Severus Snape stated, not once raising his voice.

Giggling evilly kaylin rocked back on her heels. "But Professor. I am just having a bit of fun!" she said, a hint of a whine.

"Hey Arrowin, would that make you Dorothy?" A brave muggleborn asked, laughing with a few others.

Smirking evilly she pulled her wand. "Why of course it would. and that would make you my little _dog_" and as she said dog, she tranfigured him in a black Yorkshire Terrier. "Come now Toto, we don't all day. We must see the Great Wizard before his flying monkey gets mad at us." She giggled, picking up the smallish dog and walking further down the hall.

XxXxX

RI: I really have to stop. I am definitely going to hell one of these days. Now for more things about me!

1. I can't sing very well. I have to be careful what songs I choose, 'cause my voice gets very high and I sound like a falsetto.

2. I hate my hair. It's curly, wavy, I have lost change in it, and my brother's rat (before it died. that rat that is) would make little nests out of it.

3. I hate the Winter. It's from living up north for so many years has turned me off of snow.

4. I am planning to move. I was thinking of Denmark, Norway, Finland, or maybe Sweden. I haven't decided yet.

5. I have an Aunt who is obsessed with Yorkie's. we actually got her a Yorkie nightlight one year, and she loved it!

Dun forget you can always suggest chapters in REVIEWS!


	7. 13 Seamus Finnegan is Not after me

KA: We have a new request! Thanks to **NotSorry** we have our next Chapter!

Oh, and sorry for it being so late! I was really busy these last couple of weeks and I am using my little brother's computer cause mine has a virus on it. So, I will get it done on here!

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT, I repeat NOT, own the Harry Potter series. If I did, Ginny wouldn't be obsessed with a boy almost two years her senior, Draco and Harry would be a couple (their fighting is like foreplay), Hermione would be descendant from Romany (Gypsy), Ron would still be ginger, but not such a bint. I mean, can't he understand that Harry hates the fame? Voldemort would look like the guy who played him in "A Very Potter Musical", and Lucius Malfoy would be tied to my head board with a dildo shoved up his ass (I like to have a bit of fun).

XxXxX

13. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

XxXxX

It was a dreary morning in the Great Hall as people began trickling in, much like the rain pouring on the roof.

Kaylin, as usual, had fallen asleep at her place; a drowsy Draco sitting next to her, and poking her with the oatmeal spoon.

"Nyuuuu. Momma, Draco won't quit poking me, and someone stole my ceweal." she said, sitting up and groping for her lost food.

laughing quietly, Draco grabbed a danish and began waving it under her nose. "Wake up you foolish girl. No one stole your precious cereal." Pansy Parkinson, the School's Broom, said, pushing her slightly away from Draco.

"Nuh uh, someone did! And I can prove it!" she just about yelled, standing up and marching over to the Gryffindor tables.

"Great, here comes the Slytherin princess." Ron muttered, his mouth full of pancakes and sausage.

"Finnegan! Give me back my Cereal!" Kaylin commanded, standing just behind Harry as she yelled at Finnegan, and scaring several first years in the process.

Snorting, in what way Ron thought was superior, "He ain't got them, you stupid Slytherin! Now go away!" Ron yelled, spraying everyone with food.

Glaring at the Red headed boy, she turned to the Irish boy. "You must have them! You are the only one who could've taken them!" She fake cried, prompting Draco to come over.

"Just give her the damned Lucky Charms Finnegan." Draco said, causing half the muggleborns to laugh at Kaylin's joke.

Giving every laughing person a strange look, he turned to the two Slytherins beside him. "Wha' do ye mean? I donae have yer Lucky Charms" He said, his brogue poking out more than usual.

"Why is the leprechaun laughing at me? I wan' my Lucky Charms!" she carried on, causing more than half of the great hall to stare at her.

Sighing quietly, Professor Snape stood before walking over to the Gryffindor table. "Miss Arrowin, cease this... spectacle. You are a Slytherin. Act as one." he said, a hint of curled lip making anyone not used to it flinch.

Looking up and smiling, Kaylin giggled before walking back. "M'kay Pwoffesow!" she said, not a single tear track on her face.

XxXxX

"How does she do that?" Hermoine asked, her voice raising higher than expected.

Not bothering to look behind him, Harry said, "Well she is a Slytherin; a very good one mind you, but a Slytherin none the less."

When they looked over at the Slytherin table, they saw Kaylin happily eating a bowl of the sugary cereal with Draco.

"What I don't get is how she can get Malfoy to react like that. it's like they are family or something." Ron said, his mouth finally empty of the food he had been trying to chew.

Stopping suddenly, harry and hermoine looked at each other in shock. "Naaaah, that couldn't be right. They look nothing alike!" Harry hurriedly said, taking a bite of toast to shut himself up quickly.

XxXxX

Smirking, not evilly though, Kaylin finished her cereal and began talking to draco. 'Do you think they figured it out yet?" She asked, pointing her spoon in the direction of The Golden Trio.

"How could they not? We are always around each other. I bet they think we are a couple or something ridiculous." Draco snorted, taking a bite of pastry. "How you found out Auntie was squib I will never know." H said, looking at her suspiciously.

"I didn't. sh found out on her own." Kaylin said, pulling out a book that had the picture of a vampire on it.

XxXxX

KA: I hope you have all noticed that I have changed my Author name once again. This Name works better for me. :D

1. I have a book on Vampires. it's called the field guide to Vampires by Robert Curran. A couple of friends said that I looked like the one on the cover. which is preposterous.

2. I love yaoi. I dun care what you say, I like it.

3. Rush is the best band ever! Neil Purt will forever be the god of the drums.

4. I also Love JRock. Mostly Miyavi, Versailles, Psycho Le Cemu, Moi Dix Mois, Malice Mizer, Dir En Grey and Suicide Ali.


	8. 10 I will not Draw the Dark Mark

KA: Hey everyone! sorry for my sudden absence! Moving into a new place takes a lot out of you.

But thanks to **Avaline Malfoy**, we have our next chapter!

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT, I repeat NOT, own the Harry Potter series. If I did, Ginny wouldn't be obsessed with a boy almost two years her senior, Draco and Harry would be a couple (their fighting is like foreplay), Hermione would be descendant from Romany (Gypsy), Ron would still be ginger, but not such a bint. I mean, can't he understand that Harry hates the fame? Voldemort would look like the guy who played him in "A Very Potter Musical", and Lucius Malfoy would be tied to my head board with a dildo shoved up his ass (I like to have a bit of fun).

XxXxX

Thing I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts

Chapter 8

10. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

XxXxX

History of Magic had to be the most boring class ever imaginable. Even though they had somehow managed to exorcise The ghost teacher, it was still boring (Of course another ghost having taken his place doesn't help).

Hermoine was, as always, taking notes about the same exact thing. Harry was playing hangman with Neville, the former winning for straight games in a row. Ron was asleep, a small puddle of drool forming around his mouth, and Draco had a devious smile on his face.

Kaylin was sitting next to Harry, reading some kind of book. flinching when an origami tiger jumped next to her hand and nipped her thumb, she opened it and grinned much like Draco was.

"Hawwy." Kaylin whispered, startling Neville slightly, "Wanna halp me pull a pwank?" She asked, pulling several markers and a length of rope from her side bag.

"Alright. What do I have to do?" He asked, as she pulled his hands together and tied them with a tight knot.

"All you have to is sit next to Dwaco." Kaylin said, sitting on the floor right next to Draco who had more of the rope, which he then connected to the middle of Harrys' tied hands.

_'Step two.'_ Kaylin laughed in her head, grabbing several sharpies and moved to Rons' right side, making Hermoine move in the process.

"Kaylin, don't do it! You'll get points taken away!" Hermoine hissed, moving away from the strong smell of Sharpie.

Smiling, in an almost evil way, Kaylin began drawing, from memory, the Dark Mark on Rons' arm. "Quit being such a wet blanket Hermoine. Now be a good girl and be a look out." Kaylin replied, the strong smell of permanent marker floating through the air.

"Dwaco I need help." Kaylin said, holding two of the markers out to him.

"Oh fine, but this had better come off." Draco muttered, drawing the 'mark' on Kaylin before she drew it on himself.

"Alright Hawwy, hold still; this will forever scar some people, but at least you can say you were Draco's bitch." Kaylin said, capping the markers and grabbing an extra length of rope to tie to Harry's bound hands.

Nodding at Blaise, who kicked Ron to wake him, she sat on Draco's other side with Harry in between them.

"*Snort* Wuzz- 'moine, where's Harry?" Ron asked, bleary eyed and half asleep.

Hermoine, who had finally decided to join in, refused to speak to him. It was as if he didn't exsist. Her shoulders seemed to been shaking in what could've been laughter.

Ron, oblivious to the black haired boy sitting on the floor, turned to Neville who gave him a disgusting look. "How could you Ron? He was your best friend?" Neville asked, turning away from him, his shoulders shaking with the strain of containing his laughter.

"Harry, what is he talking abo-" Ron began to ask, only to stop at the site of Harry on the floor between the Ice Prince and Ice Princess of Slytherin.

Silently looking up at him, Harry could only stare. "How could you Ron? I thought you hated Death Eaters. Why did you join them?" Harry asked very convincingly, pretending to cry as Ron stared abashed at the site.

"Wha'? I would never do some-" his voice trailed off as he looked at his right wrist. He had the dark mark on his skin; albeit it was an imitation -though a very good one-, he stilled freaked out.

"Thanks to you, I was given to Kaylin and Draco as a plaything." Harry quietly said, laying his cheek against Draco's thigh and Kaylin gently brushed his hair.

"No,no,no,no! This isn't happening- OBLIVIATE!" Ron whimpered, knocking himself out with the force of the spell.

Giggling like mad, Kaylin sent several cleaning charms to their arms getting rid of all evidence of the marker. "Harry, go sit; quickly!" Kaylin hissed, pushing him towards his seat.

Sighing like it was the biggest hassle, Hermoine whispered "eneverate." before turning back to her notes. "Wha' happened?" Ron asked, looking at his arm in alarm.

"What are you talking about? You fell asleep and started freaking out." Harry said, picking up his quill to begin writing.

"Harry?"

"Yea, mate?"

"Why are your hands tied together?"

XxXxX

KA: I need to be shot. I can't believe I put this off for so long!

1. I love Miyavi. He is spazzy, adorable, and his daughter is completely and utterly adorable.

2. I wish I could be Mana-sama's bitch.

3. There was one time when I had a dream that involved Lucius Malfoy, Harry Potter, and a very large bucket of ice cream.

4. Bellatrix Lestrange and Lord Voldemort (Not the hot version, but the version with no nose) havin sex.

Now that I have possibly scarred you forever, let me just say that I love all of you that either replied or favorited this and me. You guys are the best!


	9. 350 OMGWTF is not a spell

KA: Thanks to **nano-desu13** we have our next three, possible, chapters! I must remind you that I follow this list: http :/ kupika .com/ Demonic _angel/ Hogwarts (Without spaces). This is where I get the list from. If it's not on there then I will regretfully inform you of this and have you choose a different one!

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT, I repeat NOT, own the Harry Potter series. If I did, Ginny wouldn't be obsessed with a boy almost two years her senior, Draco and Harry would be a couple (their fighting is like foreplay), Hermione would be descendant from Romany (Gypsy), Ron would still be ginger, but not such a bint. I mean, can't he understand that Harry hates the fame? Voldemort would look like the guy who played him in "A Very Potter Musical", and Lucius Malfoy would be tied to my head board with a dildo shoved up his ass (I like to have a bit of fun).

XxXxX

Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts

Chapter 9

335. "OMGWTF" is not a spell.

XxXxX

"Ah come on Dway? Pwease?" Kaylin asked, clinging to the back of his shirt.

Quietly sighing, as he was a Malfoy, and Malfoy's don't _sigh_, he turned to his little cousin and frowned.

What, you didn't know they were related? Well, let's clear this up immediately!

Kaylin Arrowin is the daughter of Fai'lin Arrowin née Black and Kurrimu Arrowin. Her mother is the Squib cousin of Narcissa Malfoy née Black and Sirius Black. When Kurrimu discovered that his wife was capable of, or rather held the capabilities of magic, he was pissed. This was, of course, after Kaylins' Letter had come in.

Now that I have cleared this up, let's continue with this little chapter.

"Fine, but you must never tell anybody of this." He said, pulling his wand out and muttering a quiet spell. Almost immediately his robes turned a bright, rosy pink and his hair became longer with twin pigtails streaming behind him.

With very little coaxing, Kaylin and Draco began their trek to the great hall.

XxXxX

It was a dreary morning in the Great Hall as everyone began trickling in. Kaylin, being her over eccentric self, began eating her normal breakfast of biscuits, raspberries and overly sugary cereal. "Move over idiot." Draco said, his eyes half closed, glaring at a couple of first years.

"Good morning to you too sunshine." Kaylin said, pushing a plate of bacon and eggs towards Draco.

"You heard him half-blood. Move over." Pansy said, trying to push Kaylin down the seat to sit next to Draco.

Looking up and then back down at her cereal, Kaylin moved closer to Draco, and clasping his left arm in her right hand. "Sit someone else SB. Dwaco and I are eating." Kaylin sneered, pointedly grabbing another biscuit and slathering it in butter.

"Move over Half-blood, you have no right to sit next to him." Pansy said, whipping her wand out, a very dark curse on her lips.

"I wouldn't do that Parkinson (sp?). I may not know many things, but spells is something I do." Kaylin said, standing up and pointing her wand in Pansy's pug like face. "You are a stupid, pathetic bitch that doesn't deserve Dways' love. OMGWTF!" she yelled, making Pansy squeal and run off.

"Ms. Arrowin, 'OMGWTF' is not a spell." Professor Snape said, walking down to the Slytherin table, "10 points for originality."

Smiling like a five year old, Kaylin picked up another biscuit and began eating it. "Of course it isn't pwofessor. It's funny to watch her overreact though." She said between bites of he breakfast.

XxXxX

KA: I am sorry that this hasn't been updated in almost forever. I have a very bad cold, and have been depressed for quite a while now. But enough of my problems; his should be a happy time... IT'S THE NEW YEAR!


	10. 12 I will not bet on the DaDa Prof

KA: Thanks to **BJtheOswaldfanatic**, we have our next eight (or so) chapters!

**DISCLAIMER:** I do NOT, I repeat NOT, own the Harry Potter series. If I did, Ginny wouldn't be obsessed with a boy almost two years her senior, Draco and Harry would be a couple (their fighting is like foreplay), Hermione would be descendant from Romany (Gypsy), Ron would still be ginger, but not such a bint. I mean, can't he understand that Harry hates the fame? Voldemort would look like the guy who played him in "A Very Potter Musical", and Lucius Malfoy would be tied to my head board with a dildo shoved up his ass (I like to have a bit of fun).

XxXxX

Hogwarts

Chapter 10

12. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, and not a clever moneymaking concept.

XxXxX

"20"

"35"

"80" three students argued, placing gold coins in an old hat.

Walking in, Kaylin could do nothing but watch in amusement. "I hate the answer, but what are you guys doing?" She asked, leaning against the door jamb, smirking like Snape.

"Betting on what's going to happen to the new DADA teacher." Harry replied, sitting on the seat in the compartment and cleaning his glasses. "I put 20 on him (her) falling down the stairs." He continued, crossing his legs at the ankles.

"I bet 35 on him (her) having an accident while talking to Harry." Luna said, dreamily looking around.

"No fair, you added a variable!" Hermione said, crossing her arms and pouting. "I put 80 on him (her) getting kidnapped by the centaurs." She said, leaning on Harry who shrugged.

Sighing like it was a huge let down, Kaylin sat down and lay across both Harry's and Hermiones' laps. "Put me down for 40 on accidewnt in class" she said, purring when Harry scratched the crown of her head.

"What is a junior Death Eater doing in here?" Ron yelled, spittle flying in Kaylins face.

Groaning in the loss of the hand, Kaylin sat up and rubbed her bleary eyes. "Wh-what's going on?" she asked, yawning big and stretching out.

Looking up Kaylin, hissed and backed away from the angry redhead. "What the hell? Why awre you so angry?" she asked, shying away from the red faced Ron Weasley.

"Because Death Eater scum is laying across two of my friends. Leave!" he yelled, scaring Hermione and Kaylin.

"Nuh-uh, I was just lounging. And I am not a Death Eater, How many times must I say this?" Kaylin said, crossing her arms, and huffing like a child.

XxX Great Hall: Opening feast xXx

"Welcome all to another wonderful year of learning. Before we eat a few announcements: The forbidden forest is forbidden for a reason, no students may enter unless accompanied by a teacher. A list of all things not allowed has been posted on Filchs' office door, Weasley products have been included. I would also like to announce our newest Defense teacher, Professor Amir. Now Oddment, Blubber, Nitwit, Tweak!" Dumbledore said, making the food appear on its own.

"Yay, he made it!" I said, bouncing on my seat a little and causing the other Slytherins to look at me weird.

"Arrowin, unless you want your top to fail I would suggest stop bouncing." Professor Snape droned, passing by me and dropping a note next to my plate.

Pouting like a first year, I grabbed the note and shoved it in my robe pocket. "Fine Pwofessor." I said, stabbing a mushroom with my fork.

"Hey Arrowin, why do you only eat vegetables?" A random pureblood asked, sparking everyone's' curiosity.

Placing my fork down gently, I stood up and walked over to him. "I eat vegetables because my body cannot handle the twoubles that come with digesting meat. Unlike most of you I follow the guidelines of vegetawianism. Meaning I don't eat meat, except for once a month. Many mugleborns know of this and can explain it better. Now leave me alone and go on with your pathetic life." I murmured in his ear angrily, the entire hall silent as I spoke so they could hear.

XxX Girls Dorms: Slytherin xXx

"Alright spwoglets listen up. Since I am your pwefect you will listen well. Curfew is at nine, bedtime is ten. Please be in the common room by nine. Hopefully you all heard what pwofessor Snape said about staying together. The school considers us evil and always plotting, so to combat this we twavel in gwoups. Never be caught alone, many of the older years can vouch about how effective this is. If there are any pwoblems see me, Pwefect Dwaco, or our head of House. Any questions?" Kaylin asked, watching the first year girls shift uneasily. "Yes, sproglet with the pigtails?"

A small girl stepped forward, her hair done up in two high pigtails. "Ma'am, why are you so different from the other Slytherins? My name is Marii by the way." She asked, holding her sleeves like a lifeline.

Smiling, Kaylin knelt down and grasped her shoulders. "I am different because my family comes from a different country with different ideals of how a woman should look and act. I fight those ideals to become someone I am pwoud of. I never let any man tell me how I should look; I may come off as mean and abrasive, but as your pwefect I will pwotect you all from those people who seek you harm." Kaylin said, smiling at every eleven year old girl in the room. "Now I bet you are all tired, so I will leave you to figure out which rooms are yours. You will all be in groups of two per room, so choose wisely."

XxX Prefect rooms xXx

Sighing heavily, I plopped on the puffy couch and closed my eyes for a few seconds. "Dwaco, you come out now." I said, patting the spot next to me.

"How did it go with the girls?" he asked, pulling me into his lap and laying my head on his shoulder.

"They were hawdly a problem. One or two might end up like me." I laughed, feeling him shudder in fear.

Standing up, he carried me to my room where he placed me gently on my bed. "Night sproglet. See you in the morning." He said, kissing my forehead lightly before walking away.

XxX Morning: Great Hall xXx

"Did you hear?" "I can't believe that happened." "How klutzy can a DADA teacher be?" Chatter and more could be heard this morning as people began trickling in to eat breakfast.

"What's going on?" Kaylin asked, sitting with the 7th years, and taking a biscuit from one of their plates.

"You haven't heard? The new Professor fell of his desk while trying to hang something in the DADA classroom. He got hurt pretty- are listening Arrowin?" McMillan asked, before shrugging and going back to his breakfast.

Standing up suddenly, and actually scaring the older students, Kaylin ran over to Harry and pounced before anyone could catch her. "I win Hawwy! Cough it up!" she cheered, doing her odd dance of spastic arms, shaking butt, and flying hair.

"What's with her? Did she win the lottery or something?" Hermione asked, just then walking in on Kaylins' celebration dance.

"Sh-she won the bet. She won the entire pot." Harry said, shaking his head and sitting back down, watching Kaylin and Luna dancing together.

XxXxX

KA: W00t! Kaylin won 175 Galleons! How's that for luck?


	11. 16 I will imitate Potter Puppet pals

KA: Thanks to **BJtheOswaldfanatic** we have our next seven (or so) chapters!

**DISCLAIMER: ** I do NOT, I repeat NOT, own the Harry Potter series. If I did, Ginny wouldn't be obsessed with a boy almost two years her senior, Draco and Harry would be a couple (their fighting is like foreplay), Hermione would be descendant from Romany (Gypsy), Ron would still be ginger, but not such a bint. I mean, can't he understand that Harry hates the fame? Voldemort would look like the guy who played him in "A Very Potter Musical", and Lucius Malfoy would be tied to my head board with a dildo shoved up his ass (I like to have a bit of fun).

XxXxX

Thing I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts

Chapter 11

16. I will not reenact Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall

XxXxX

"Hey you guys, take a look at what I made!" Kaylin yelled, holding out four little black shapes; One with black hair and glasses, a ginger, bushy haired one, and another black haired one.

Raising an eyebrow at the madness that was his cousin, Draco turned around and pushed her towards the table. "Sit down and eat Kay. And do not show Professor Snape that puppet, no matter how eerily they look alike. You got that?" Draco said, poking her on the nose, causing Kaylin to scrunch her face up in annoyance.

"Yea, yea, I get ya. I won't show him." She mumbled, taking a bite of raspberry biscuits.

"Show me what Ms. Arrowin?" Severus Snape asked, standing behind the two of them, causing Kaylin to sit straight and tense up.

"Nofhink P-pwofether. Just thomething s-silly." She stuttered, her mouth full of raspberry biscuits.

Watching him walk away, Kaylin began mumbling under her breath, "Snape. Snape. Sev-erus Snape."

"Ron, Ron I have a delightful idea. Let's go bother Snape." (Harry)

"Bother. Bother, bother, bother." (Harry and Ron)

"Augh, oh, Augh." (Severus)

"The best part was when he stopped moving."(Ron)

Kaylin recited happily, the puppets dancing around like they were powered by magic.

Everyone had turned when she began making the deep voice of Severus. The first years began giggling when they saw the red haired, and bespeckled puppets dancing around the black haired one. "You damned death eater! How dare you make a puppet of Harry and me! You have no right!" Ron yelled, scaring the younger children.

Looking up, Kaylin smiled before showing him the puppet. "Silly Won; these awre just puppets from a funny show in the muggle world. Any of the Mugglebown can tell you that." She said, gaining nods from many of the older students. "And I will never join ole moldy-butt; He's cwazy." She continued, her lisp making her seem cute.

XxX Potions: First Class xXx

"Ms. Arrowin, because of your display in the Great Hall this morning you shall be making a batch of Pepper Up for the infirmary." Severus snarked, causing the Gryffindors to quietly giggle. "And 4 points from Slytherin."

"_I can't believe they think that this is a punishment for me. Thank heavens for the extra tutoring from Dwaco."_ She thought, grinding the boomslang skin carefully.

Even though they were watching her, Kaylin was still able to sniff and lick almost every ingredient set out before her.

Hearing a shriek off to the Gryffindor side of the room, Kaylin looked up, her tongue still poking out of her mouth a little. "Bii," she cheered, dropping the small pile of frogs legs, and stumbling to pick up her quatol, "Thank goodness I found you! You need to stay away from those naughty Gryffindors. They could really hurt you!" she admonished, giggling when the feathered snake flicked its tongue against her cheek.

_"But master, I wanted to talk to the grass-eyed-one."_ It hissed, causing Harry to blush and Kaylin to laugh at his reaction.

"You stay there Bii. If you go to Harry-chan then I will have no choice but to not have your weekly supply of mice." She said, her threat hanging in the air as she began making the potion once again.

XxX Great Hall: Lunch xXx

"Arrowin, I challenge you!" A rather dumb Gryffindor said, pointing his wand at her in mock anger.

"I accept your challenge foolish mowtal. Pwepare to fight!" she called, getting in a mock fighting pose and running slowly towards him.

As they slowly ran towards each other, a crowd had begun to form around the two.

"Ms. Arrowin, Mr. Ashen would like to explain what you two are doing?" Professor Flitwick asked, his arms crossed over his diminutive body.

"Pwaying..." Kaylin said, falling down once they had 'hit' each other. The entire hall erupted into laughter as Kaylin lay on the ground pouting at all the laughter.

XxXxX

KA: Alright I am verrrrrry soory that this is late. Thankfully, the next one won't take as long. I would like to thank **BJtheOswaldfanatic** for suggesting so many good chapters. This is also the first story to go past 11 chapters. Chapter 12 will be up as soon as I get done with it. :3

Apparently Kupika (Where this actual list comes from) is changing servers, so anyone who wants to suggest a chapter will have to wait a while. Sorry guys and gals. :3


	12. 23 I will not bring a magic eight ball

KA: thanks to **BJtheOswaldFanatic** we have our next 6 (or so) chapters!

**DISCLAIMER: ** I do NOT, I repeat **NOT**, own the Harry Potter series. If I did, Ginny wouldn't be obsessed with a boy almost two years her senior, Draco and Harry would be a couple (their fighting is like foreplay), Hermione would be descendant from Romany (Gypsy), Ron would still be ginger, but not such a bint. I mean, can't he understand that Harry hates the fame? Voldemort would look like the guy who played him in "A Very Potter Musical", and Lucius Malfoy would be tied to my head board with a dildo shoved up his ass (I like to have a bit of fun).

XxXxX

Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts

Chapter 12

23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

XxXxX

"Woah!" a voiced yelled, backing away from the Gryffindor common room, a strange smell making everyone back out and away from the source.

"what the bloody hell is wrong with you guys?" Ron Weasley asked, stepping towards the second and third years who backed away just as quickly.

Walking in and almost immediately walking out, Harry Potter had just come from the Room of requirement and immediately wished he hadn't left. "Mate, have you smelled yourself lately? I can almost taste it; that's how bad it is." Harry said, staying a safe distance from the powerful stink coming from his best mate.

"Wha-? Arrowin!" Ron screamed, his voice carrying over several hallways.

An almost evil sounding giggle bounded down one of the halls.

Xx Great Hall: Morning Xx

"Arrowin! I will kill you!" Ron yelled, pointing his wand at the red haired woman, intent on doing damage to her.

Turning around, Kaylin stared at him with a raised eyebrow. "Are you weally that stupid Won? Your silly wittle wand could never hurt me. Now sit down before you get in twouble." She said, turning to walk to the Slytherin table, suddenly crouching as Ron fired off a strong stinging hex.

"Mr. Weasley! Detention with Filch for attacking another student!" Professor McGonagall said, her lips pursed and a scowl marring her face.

Spluttering, Ron's face began turning red in anger. "Professor! She made me smell bad! Why have you not done something about that?" He yelled, causing the first years to back away in fear.

Turning sharply, Professor McGonagall stared him down with a level gaze. "Mr. Weasely, how would've Ms. Arrowin been able to 'make you smell bad'? both you and her reside in different houses, how could she have gotten into the boy's dorm?" McGonagall asked, staring down her nose at him.

"Ms. Kaylin, is the scary boy done?" a first year asked, his hand grasping onto her skirt. The patch on the left side of his chest betrayed him as a Hufflepuff. "Well of course little puffy. The rare ginger never stays angry around food. Just watch." She whispered loudly, causing the older years to laugh quietly.

Xx 5th period: Divination (2 hour block) xX

"Open your eye to the world of the unknown. Become what you truly believe in!" Professor Trelawney said, her voice somehow airy in the almost humid room.

Snorting in jest of what she heard, Kaylin decided that she didn't want to do her work. Setting aside her textbook, quietly though; that woman seemed to have the ears of a bat.

"Hey Lee, gimme a distraction real quick." She said, before oh so carefully rolling her crystal ball into her left cloak pocket. Quickly reaching for the right pocket, she pulled out a similarly sized ball; Only this one black with flat bottom and a large number eight painted on it.

"Pwofessor, I think there is something wrong with my ball." Kaylin said, her voice trying to sound meek.

Silently, the crazed woman -who probably had spent one too many days in her tower- walked over to Kaylin and Lee's table and almost shrieked at what she saw. "That is a bad omen. You are cursed you foolish girl." She said, picking up the ball and looking it over.

"That's not all 'fessor. It talks to me too." Kaylin said, taking the ball from the crazy professor and looking at it solemnly. "Should I go to the Yule Ball?" She asked, and shook it as hard as she could. "Oh deary dear," she murmured, twisting a bit of hair around her finger worriedly, "it seems that I shan't be going. Look" she said holding the ball up to a random students face.

Snorting a bit in laughter, Dean looked down at the ball and gasped in mock horror. "Hmm, 'Out look not good.' I would definitely not go." he said trying not to laugh as she pouted.

"Oh poo, it sounds like class is already over. Professor, can you hold on to this for me?" Kaylin asked, handing her the ball before quickly walking out of the classroom.

Xx hallway: transfiguration xX

"So Arrowin, how much did you pay for the 'Crystal ball'?" Thomas asked, finally laughing his ass off.

"Two pounds nine quid. Best money I ever spent." She sighed dreamily, closing her eyes and waiting for the door to open for their next class.

XxXxX

KA: and so ends this chapter. I will say this, I am actually having a bit of trouble getting these done.

I honestly don't know if that is correct in the monetary sense. I'm not good with British money. I know that two pounds is equal to about 1.75 here in the U.S. (I may be wrong don't quote me on that.)

Remember that reviews are always welcome!


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